Negative self talk:
Well as happy as I am to get a nice win at the open, I went short mid day fully neglecting my system for the billionth time because I think im smarter than everyone else. I only lost like 20% of my profits but the principle of making that mistake for the millionth time is so sad to me. Why did I create a strategy if im so scared to execute it? I got long early and I said so many times, when 4/4 bullish that is when I need to hold, add, get as aggressive as humanly possible....yet I somehow go long 1 time, watch us rip up 20 points past my exit, then I got short? how fucking stupid can I possibly be to think that is a good idea? WHY THE FUCK AM I GOING SHORT WHEN THE ENTIRE GOD DAMN MARKET IS MOVING HIGHER? I really need more respect for myself and the work I put in to be able to sit here and trade a strategy that works. Everytime I take a trade unrelated to my edge I am simply just giving money to the person who is actually disciplined. Idc If I trade it with 1MES, that is not the point...the point is that I created a strategy, and im trading the full fucking opposite of my strategy. THERE IS NO EDGE DOING THAT.......EVER It is straight up gambling and nothing more. Congratulations for getting a tiny little bitch trade at the open, not holding even though system said to, then shorting when 4/4 internals were bullish. fucking retard

Positive self talk:
Today was a great day for 2 reasons. I took a great trade within my strategy parameters where I noticed the situation quickly, got in, had a fast target, and dipped out. There was 1 more trade that I absolutely should have taken within my parameters which would have yielded around 3-4 more points which wouldve made today a pretty good day. I was somewhat distracted so I just overlooked the trade as well as I was scared to lose the money I made. The whole point of a strategy is to eliminate fear based decision making. I dont want to enter a trade terrified im going to lose. I dont want to miss a trade because I am terrified to lose. I need to simply take every single trade under my criterium and I will make money...... thats it. I think I have come a long way from who I used to be as a trader. Before I would take shorts all day even while 100% knowing we are uptrending on every single chart. Today I was not scared to get long early but I have this weird bias I create after the open where once I lock it in I get terrified. This needs to go away if I ever want to really milk this strategy. there was 1 clear setup right after my win which wouldve gotten me close to 10 points on the day which is more than enough for me. The steps I can take to alleviate this issue is I am going to buy a big calendar and leave every single day blank unless that day had my perfect criterium (4/4 internals one sided). Maybe giving myself a visual view of how rare it truly is that my strategy is this good will help me realize the importance of nailing the trades when they occur.

Had I followed my system to perfect execution today it would have been a 14 point day. Depending on how I trade that it couldve been a day where I add and hold or a day where I just scalp moves from pullbacks to attempted breakouts. I still would not hold for big breakouts simply from the fact that every big breakout this week got smacked right back down to earth before EOD. For that reason selling into breakouts it the way to go. I only made 4 points today so I was off by about $500 which is pretty terrible in terms of performance.